The curse of gold

In Short

Set in the raw, sprawling range country of Piperock, Montana, this Western short story follows Sheriff Magpie Simpkins and his exasperated companion Ike Harper as they plunge into a chaotic pursuit. When the Piegan Kid rides off with two heavy bags from the local bank, the botched chase degenerates into accidental shootings, stolen stock, and a grueling trek through mesquite and cactus. After the stolen loot is miraculously recovered, the pair returns to town only to discover that the spoils of their ordeal are entirely worthless. The story endures through its vivid comic narrative voice and laconic range humor.

The Story

The narrative opens in the sleepy Montana town of Piperock, where Sheriff Magpie Simpkins is holding court with his deputy, Ike Harper. Magpie is musing on the supposed respect and prominence his star brings him, even as a local committee of citizens complains that he is far too slow in reining in outlaws like the Evans gang and the elusive Piegan Kid. Before Ike can finish offering his unwanted advice on how to run the office, violence erupts right outside their door.

Gunshots shatter the peace, and the Piegan Kid's terrified mount bucks against the sheriff's porch, collapsing the roof structure and knocking down framed wall art. James Wilson Spreckles, the bank's perfumed, silk-handkerchief-using cashier, fires wildly from the bank steps, accidentally driving splinters into Magpie’s eyes and allowing the Kid to gallop away with two heavy canvas bags of money.

Deputized on the spot, Ike sets out to secure mounts for a posse of two. He commandeers a brown mare belonging to Art Miller and flees town under a volley of gunfire from the owner, who mistakes him for a horse thief. After taking a piece of stray glass out of his shirt, Ike catches up with Magpie, and the pair trails the robber toward Sentinel Butte. They discover the Kid's horse down with a broken leg, its expensive saddle missing. Proceeding on foot into the dense brush, the two lawmen attempt to flank their target.

The stalk devolves into pure confusion. High-caliber rounds tear up the brush, clipping Ike's canteen and pants pocket, while Ike accidentally shoots at a hat on a stick. Spotting a figure moving in the brush, Ike fires, sending the man tumbling into a washout, only to discover he has shot his own sheriff. Magpie survives the bullet, which merely creases his skull, and the two stumble upon the abandoned canvas bags, each stamped with $5000 in red wax.

Their triumph is brief. Returning to their hitching spot, they find the Kid has stolen Magpie's buckskin horse, left behind the unbroken mare, and slashed their saddles to ribbons. Attempting to ride the mare double back to town results in a bucking frenzy that pitches Magpie into the dirt and leaves Ike runaway on a wild horse.

A local posse chases Ike across the flats, mistaking him for an outlaw. Ike hides in a cactus patch, returns to find Magpie playing cards in the shade, and learns the Kid ambushed Magpie while he slept and retook the money. However, the arriving posse reveals they ambushed the Kid further down the trail and recovered the loot. Returning to Piperock to deliver the funds to banker Eph Whittaker, the lawmen watch as the banker unseals the bags, only to find them filled with worthless lead slugs and brass washers—a decoy set up by the cautious cashier.

How It Unfolds

The star and the bullet Magpie Simpkins and Ike Harper debate the indignities of law enforcement in their Piperock office just before gunfire shatters the street. The Piegan Kid's bucking horse brings down the porch roof, while the bank cashier's wild counterfire blinds the sheriff with wooden splinters and allows the robber to flee with two sacks of cash.

** commandeering a mount** Magpie sends Ike to secure a horse for the pursuit, leading Ike to commandeer Art Miller's fast brown mare under a hail of bullets from the angry owner. Ike rides out to Sentinel Butte, stopping only to pull a sharp glass shard out of his shirt and rejoin his chief on the trail.

Crossfire on Sentinel Butte Finding the bank robber’s horse disabled, the pair pursues the fugitive on foot through the thick mesquite. Panic and poor visibility lead to a wild gun battle where Ike unwittingly shoots Sheriff Magpie, though the wound proves to be only a minor furrow across the scalp.

Disastrous double riding After recovering the two dropped bags of gold, the lawmen discover the Piegan Kid has stolen Magpie's horse and ruined their saddles. Their attempt to ride the wild brown mare together ends in a bucking catastrophe, leaving Magpie in the dirt and sending Ike on a runaway ride into a bed of cactus.

The decoy revealed After the local posse recovers the money bags from the Kid and brings everyone back to town, banker Eph Whittaker opens the sealed sacks in front of the assembled crowd. Instead of ten thousand dollars in gold, the contents spill out as worthless lead slugs and brass washers prepared by the overly cautious cashier.

The People

• Magpie Simpkins: The towering, six-foot-six sheriff of Yaller Rock County who wants the public respect due to his office, but finds himself constantly bedeviled by critical citizens and his own terrible luck. He ends up creased by his deputy's bullet and nursing a black eye, yet retains his unflappable, sarcastic authority to the very end.
• Ike Harper: Magpie’s long-suffering deputy and narrator, who wants nothing more than to avoid danger, keep his clothes intact, and stay off half-broken horses. He endures being shot at by townspeople, thrown into cactus, and accused of theft, ending the ordeal battered, missing a pants leg, and resigning his post in frustration.
• James Wilson Spreckles: The town's fastidious, cologne-wearing bank cashier whose wild shooting triggers the opening chaos and whose secretive nature causes the entire wild goose chase over worthless metal slugs.
• The Piegan Kid: A elusive local outlaw who successfully loots the bank, ambushes the sheriff, steals Magpie's buckskin mount, and outmaneuvers his pursuers, serving as the constant catalyst for the lawmen's misadventures.

In Its Own Voice

“Bein’ uh sheriff,” remarks Magpie Simpkins, rubbin’ his whiskers with th’ palm of his hand, and kickin’ some books off th’ table so he can rest his boots, “gives uh feller lots uh prominence in th’ community.”

Magpie reflects on the prestige of his elected position just moments before a chaotic bank robbery reduces his office porch to rubble.

“Nobody can ever say that Ike Harper can’t take uh hint. Say, if anythin’ ever hugged th’ ground harder than I did it never came loose.”

Ike describes his instinct for self-preservation when rifle bullets start shaving the brush right above his head on Sentinel Butte.

“I’ve heard of th’ curse uh gold, Ike, but I never knowed before jist what it meant.”

Magpie laments their predicament when left stranded in the desert with forty pounds of heavy metal and no workable saddle.

What It's Really About

Behind its broad slapstick and lively Western banter, the story explores the gulf between public expectations of authority and the messy reality of small-town survival. Magpie and Ike are charged with keeping the peace, yet the community they serve is quick to shoot at them, mistake them for horse thieves, or berate their competence. The title itself operates as a ironic joke: the "curse of gold" isn’t the moral corruption of wealth, but the literal physical burden of hauling heavy, useless metal across miles of sunbaked mesquite for no actual reward. Ultimately, the narrative highlights human folly, showing how institutional competence is often an illusion sustained by sheer luck and misplaced confidence.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy vintage Western humor, high-spirited farce, and colorfully rendered regional dialects will find much to admire in W. C. Tuttle's storytelling. The pace is rapid, carrying the reader through a rapid sequence of absurd misunderstandings, physical comedy, and sharp-tongued dialogue. Unlike romanticized accounts of the Old West that feature legendary gunfighters and heroic lawmen, this tale offers an unpretentious look at small-town enforcement where the greatest hazards are falling porches, wild broncs, and friendly fire.

The primary challenge for modern readers lies in the heavy rendering of phonetic dialect ("uh," "th'," "hoss," "jasper"), which requires a moment to adjust to the rhythmic cadence of range speech. However, once attuned to Ike Harper's laconic delivery, the narrative proves genuinely funny and remarkably swift. It remains an entertaining specimen of early twentieth-century magazine fiction that refuses to take the myth of the American West seriously.