One Third Off

In Short

One Third Off is a lighthearted autobiographical account of humorist Irvin S. Cobb’s quest to lose weight as he approaches middle age. Realizing that his years of enthusiastic eating have caught up with him, Cobb tries and abandons absurd gymnasium routines before taking a commonsense approach to diet. Blending personal anecdotes with satirical observations on American dining habits, medical advice, and Prohibition-era culture, the book records his steady transformation. It endures as a charming, sharp-witted snapshot of early twentieth-century popular humor and the universal struggle against middle-age spread.

The Story

The narrative opens with Irvin S. Cobb reflecting on his youth, a time when he was so gaunt that his boyhood friends nicknamed him "Bonesy." Working as a nimble young newspaper reporter in a Southern town, his active life kept him lean. However, as the years advance, his love for hearty meals gradually catches up with him. He finds himself making excuses for his expanding waistline, attributing his shortness of breath to climbing apartment stairs or sprinting for suburban trains. It is only when he steps onto a scale during a hunting trip and compares his weight to a friend’s that he faces the cold truth: he has become thoroughly, undeniably fat.

Determined to regain his former lightness without giving up his meals, Cobb initially turns to exercise. He joins a gymnasium, where he suffers through exhausting routines that leave him drenched in sweat, only to find that his intensified appetite causes him to gain nearly ten pounds. Reluctantly, he seeks medical counsel. His doctor cuts through his defensive excuses—including Cobb's proud comparisons to famous big eaters like William Jennings Bryan—and warns him that he is on a collision course with serious health issues unless he reduces his food intake.

Cobb attempts to consult medical literature on dietetics, only to find himself thoroughly confused by contradicting expert opinions. Some doctors advocate red meat while others preach pure vegetarianism; some ban butter while others encourage it. Taking matters into his own hands, Cobb decides to launch his own rational, self-imposed diet. He begins by replacing his lavish breakfasts with plain prunes, dry toast, and black coffee, and cutting back drastically on rich foods throughout the day.

His journey is not without stumbles. During a trip back to his native Kentucky, the irresistible sight of fresh turnip greens and a homemade strawberry shortcake causes him to backslide into a massive feast. However, he quickly recovers his discipline upon returning to his normal routine. Over three months of careful eating, he watches his weight drop from two hundred and thirty-six pounds to one hundred and ninety-seven pounds, experiencing clearer speech, renewed physical vigor, and a far brighter outlook on life.

How It Unfolds

The lean years remembered Cobb recalls his youthful days as an exceptionally slim reporter who had to stay fast on his feet to dodge annoyed townspeople.

A heavy realization After years of making excuses about his fit, Cobb steps on a scale while on a hunting trip and realizes he is undeniably obese.

The gymnasium failure He attempts to sweat off the excess weight through vigorous physical exercise, only to discover that the workouts double his appetite and cause him to gain nine pounds.

A stern medical warning A doctor dismisses Cobb’s rationalizations about thin men who eat heavily, warning him that he must cut back his food intake or face serious health consequences.

Navigating the experts Cobb reads various diet books, becoming thoroughly bewildered by the completely contradictory advice offered by medical authorities regarding meats, grains, and water.

The Spartan routine Launching his own rational diet on a train journey, Cobb trades his massive morning feasts for prunes and black coffee, enduring intense initial hunger.

A southern relapse While visiting the Kentucky foothills, Cobb succumbs to temptation and gorges on turnip greens and strawberry shortcake, wiping out two weeks of progress in one afternoon.

Lithesome grace regained Regaining his discipline upon returning north, Cobb steadily sheds nearly forty pounds over three months, ending his narrative victorious, energized, and confident.

The People

• Irvin S. Cobb wants to restore his physical health, breath, and mobility without sacrificing his cheerful disposition or becoming a victim of medical fads. Initially resistant to changing his eating habits, he evolves from a self-described "sincere feeder" who rationalizes his size into a disciplined, self-aware observer of his own body, taking genuine pride in his physical transformation.

• The Doctor wants Cobb to face the reality of his weight before it results in a severe health crisis. Direct, cynical, and unimpressed by Cobb's humorous anecdotes, he serves as the blunt voice of reason that forces Cobb to stop blaming his tailors and start changing his diet.

• The Dietetic Experts (represented through their writings) want to sell specific nutritional theories to the public. Standing in direct opposition to one another, their conflicting advice on everything from red meat to baked beans drives Cobb to abandon formal guides and manage his own reduction scheme.

In Its Own Voice

"In a hundred-yard dash I could spot anyone of my juniors a dozen pairs of pants and win out handily."

Cobb humorously boasts about his ability to out-pant his younger suburban neighbors while sprinting for the evening train.

"I stowed one aboard three times daily--at morn, again at noon and once more at nightfall."

Reflecting on his past habits, Cobb admits his former interpretation of a "balanced ration" was simply eating three massive meals a day.

"Piffle! One hoarse raucous piffle and three sharp decisive puffs for your arguments!"

The doctor rudely cuts off Cobb's defensive comparisons between his own appetite and that of other famous big eaters.

What It's Really About

Behind the self-deprecating jokes, One Third Off explores the human capacity for self-deception when facing middle age. Cobb examines how easily people invent excuses—blaming their tailors, their housing, or their staircases—rather than confronting physical decline. The book also satirizes the burgeoning American wellness industry of the early 1920s, highlighting how contradictory expert advice often leaves ordinary people more confused than empowered. Underneath the humor lies a defense of common sense and individual self-reliance over rigid fads.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy vintage American humor, historical perspectives on health culture, or light autobiographical essays will appreciate Cobb's lively voice. The prose moves with a relaxed, conversational rhythm, filled with period slang, theatrical flair, and vivid comedic exaggeration.

Modern readers should be aware that the book reflects its time, featuring offhand references to early 1920s public figures, local references, and casual period racial terms that may feel dated or uncomfortable today. However, Cobb’s warm, breezy narrative style keeps the book light and readable. What stays with you is the sheer relatability of his struggle—the dread of the bathroom scale, the confusion over conflicting diet rules, and the quiet triumph of finally taking control of one's own health.

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