If, Yes and Perhaps: Four Possibilities and Six Exaggerations with Some Bits of Fact

In Short

This collection of inventive, darkly humorous stories explores the quirks of nineteenth-century American life, technical ambition, and patriotic duty. Central among its tales is the tragic account of Philip Nolan, a young military officer who, in a fit of rage during a court-martial, curses his country and is sentenced to live out his days aboard naval vessels, never again to hear a single word or read a line of news about the United States. Blending dry satirical wit, speculative history, and moral gravity, Hale’s narrative illuminates the silent bonds that connect individuals to their homeland.

The Story

The book opens with the tragic history of Philip Nolan, a dashing officer implicated in Aaron Burr's Western schemes. Brought before a military tribunal, Nolan angrily renounces his homeland, exclaiming that he wishes he may never hear of the United States again. The stern presiding judge takes him at his exact word. Nolan is placed aboard a succession of naval vessels bound for foreign waters, with strict orders given to every crew and officer that no one shall ever mention the nation to him, nor may any newspapers, maps, or books containing references to the United States be allowed in his presence.

Over the course of fifty years, Nolan lives as a prisoner of his own reckless outburst. He passes his endless voyage reading heavily censored literature, dining with ship officers, and performing acts of quiet heroism during naval engagements. In one fierce frigate duel against an English warship, when an enemy cannonball wipes out a gun crew, Nolan steps into the smoke, takes up the rammer, and expertly directs the remaining crew to fire, earning the gratitude of the ship's commodore. Yet, despite his brave service, his sentence remains unrevoked. As the decades slip by, the isolated exile grows old, desperate for the slightest crumb of news regarding his lost country.

On his deathbed aboard the U.S. Corvette Levant, a compassionate young officer finally breaks the half-century of enforced silence. The officer describes to the dying old man the vast growth of the nation: the rise of steamboats and telegraphs, the addition of new states, and the heroism of commanders leading armies in distant territories. Nolan dies in his cabin, surrounded by a makeshift shrine he has constructed to the homeland he was forbidden to know.

Alongside this central tragedy, the collection branches out into a variety of satirical and observational tales. One story recounts the desperate financial tightrope walked by a young scholar trying to navigate New York City on a handful of pennies after losing his luggage. Another offers an imaginative dialogue between the ancient poets Homer and King David on the shores of the Mediterranean, contrasting classical fate with divine covenant. Still other pieces present comic misadventures involving chaotic South American trade ventures ruined by mild weather, absurd military-industrial mishaps involving hoopskirts stored in cedar closets, and warm-hearted accounts of Christmas merrymaking in the streets of Boston.

How It Unfolds

The curse is pronounced After a military court-martial implicates Philip Nolan in a treasonous conspiracy, the young officer rashly declares that he never wants to hear the name of his country again. The court sentences him to a life at sea, entirely cut off from all news, books, or conversation regarding the United States.

A life on the water Nolan is transferred from ship to ship across the globe, living as a polite but isolated outcast among the sailors. The officers censor his reading material and scrupulously avoid any mention of home, while Nolan quietly passes the years reading and observing life aboard the vessels.

Courage under fire During a violent frigate action against an English vessel, an enemy shot kills a gun crew and its commander. Nolan steps up to the smoking cannon, rallies the surviving men, and loads and fires the gun himself until the enemy surrenders.

The deathbed confession Fifty years after his trial, a frail and dying Nolan begs a visiting officer to break the silence and tell him what has become of his country. The officer gives him a sweeping, emotional summary of five decades of American growth, technology, and geography before Nolan passes away.

Misadventures and observations The book shifts to lighter, speculative sketches, including a scholar's penniless survival in New York, a trading firm ruined by unexpected mild weather in South America, and a festive Christmas ride through the neighborhoods of Boston.

The People

• Philip Nolan: A young, spirited military officer who angrily renounces his nation during a court-martial. He wants freedom and respect, but his reckless words condemn him to fifty years of total isolation from his homeland. He ends his life as a penitent, deeply patriotic man who dies surrounded by memories of the country he lost.
• The Narrator (Ingham): A naval acquaintance who pieced together the scattered accounts and legends of Nolan's long exile. He wants to set the record straight about the forgotten prisoner's true character and heroic actions.
• Fausta (Miss Jones): A resilient young woman who loses her trunk on a riverboat journey. She wants to pursue her studies and remain cheerful despite administrative errors, joining the protagonist in cheap bakery meals with lighthearted good humor.
• The Merchant: An ill-tempered trader in South American commodities who wants to make a fortune on flour and rubber. He is driven to tears of fury when peace and mild winter weather disrupt his speculative cargoes.

In Its Own Voice

"I did not think that a good omen."

The editor reflects on his decision to change the book's long-winded original title to prevent it from being catalogued under a single, uninspiring word.

"It is that spirited heart of his that sings."

An old captain observes the contrast between Homeric epic verse and King David's spiritual psalmody as they converse along the sea.

"I have five cargoes of flour on their way to Rio, and their captains will--Damn it, sir, I shall lose the whole venture."

A frustrated merchant vents his fury upon realizing that political embargoes and unseasonable weather have ruined his financial plans.

What It's Really About

The collection centers on the quiet, intangible bonds that hold a community and a nation together. Through the tragedy of Philip Nolan, the book argues that an individual cannot truly exist in a vacuum; to strip away a person's connection to their culture, history, and civic identity is a punishment worse than physical imprisonment. Beneath the lighthearted satire and bizarre scenarios lies a steady examination of duty, conscience, and the unexpected consequences of thoughtless choices. It questions how fragile human institutions are, contrasting cold legalism with the warm, restorative power of simple human empathy.

Why Read It Today

Modern readers will appreciate this collection for its distinct blend of nineteenth-century charm, sharp wit, and surprisingly modern storytelling techniques. Hale writes with a dry, conversational tone that effortlessly bridges the gap between historical documentary and pure fiction. The story of Nolan retains a haunting, emotional power that stays with the reader long after the final page, serving as a poignant reflection on belonging and exile.

The book is not without its historical hurdles. Readers must navigate period-specific references, deliberate narrative hoaxes, and lengthy digression into nineteenth-century shipping, military logistics, and regional geography. Furthermore, some of the lighthearted sketches rely on social attitudes and contemporary topical humor that require a patient eye. Yet, for those willing to lean into its unique rhythm, the book delivers a wonderfully varied reading experience—moving seamlessly from crisp comedy and clever social commentary to a profound, timeless tragedy.